I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my sisters under your porch take her home
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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