So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
