we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
