I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My pussy is not your playground.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
3pm strippers are depressing
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
