I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
