Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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