i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Please, let me fuck your mom
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Randomize
