I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
