bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
