Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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