Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
