David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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