I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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