5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
