and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
