I think scott just propositioned me for sex
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
