So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
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You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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