why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
