i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
