BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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