Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
