This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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