I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
