So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
