he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I touched a dick in church today
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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