Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
