8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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