where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize