You made me cry and you don't even care
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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