Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
