Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
