someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
