a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
