I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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