hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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