Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
