So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
