Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
