I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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