if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
