thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
