I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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