Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
