I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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