Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
