I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You smell like stripper and shame
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
