I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
