It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
