so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
