I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
