my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize