OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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