dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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