I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
two words: eviction party
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
