jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
