i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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