She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize