The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
