please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
