I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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