Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
