That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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