I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
