He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
