Porn is love you can see.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
