i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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