I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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