Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
